Don’t dream it…be it

Nouvelle Star

Technically Tarot
Adventures in the Tarot “Twilight Zone”:
What If… Tarot Publishers Outsourced Their Customer Service to Microsoft?
with Jeannette Roth
Technician: (Answering phone.) Thank you for calling U.S. Games Systems’ customer service hotline. How may I help you?
Customer: Hi. I recently bought one of your decks, and when I was doing a reading with it today, I noticed that one of the cards looked… well, a little “fuzzy.” The image is blurry.
Technician: I see. Are you plugged in?
Customer: I beg your pardon?
Technician: Are you plugged into the ethereal plane, the Akashic fluid - any kind of power source? It’s a common mistake. If you aren’t solidly connected to an intuitive channel of some sort, it will be difficult to get a clear reading.
Customer: Uh, well… yeah. I think it’s safe to say that I’m “plugged in.” I really just think that the card was misprin…
Technician: (Interrupting.) Okay, then… have you tried rebooting your deck?
Customer:
(Confused.) Wha…? “Rebooting”… the deck?
Technician: Yes, sometimes little “glitches” can get stuck in the aura of a card. Reshuffling and re-dealing the cards will reset the deck and clean out anything that may be interfering with its proper operation.
Customer: Hmmm… I don’t really see how that’s going to help. But I’ll give it a try.
(Pause while the customer gathers up the cards, shuffles them, and lays out the spread again.)
Customer: Okay… what do I do next?
Technician: Try to proceed with the reading. Did the problem reoccur?
Customer: Actually, that same card did come up in the spread again. And yes… it’s still blurry.
Technician: Alright. Can you tell me what application you were running when you first noticed the problem?
Customer: Application?
Technician: The program you were using when the problem occurred.
Customer: Er, program? Do you mean, what spread was I using? That would be the Celtic Cross.
Technician: Mmm hmmm. That’s a pretty old application, you know.
Customer: So… is that a problem?
Technician: Technically, no. But in general, you’ll find that you get better performance out of something that’s a little more up-to-date. I’d recommend using “Umbrae’s 3-Card Hap
py Squirrel Multiversal Layout, revision 2.7.”
Customer: Um… I’ve never even heard of that one. I’d really rather not switch… I’m perfectly happy with my Celtic Cross sprea… er, application. It’s always worked just fine for me before.
Technician: I see. Well, then, what operating system are you running under?
Customer: Could you repeat that in English, please?
Technician: Okay. (Slower and louder.) What… operating… system… are… you… running… under?
Customer: Okay, that was completely unhelpful. Let’s see… operating system… operating system… are you maybe asking what deck I’m using? I’m using the Rider-Waite deck.
Technician: Which version?
Customer: (Frustrated.) What do you mean, “which version?” The basic version. The one everybody uses. The standard size that comes in the yellow box with a picture of “The Magician” card on it.
Technician: Oh, yes - that would be version 1.0. I’m sorry, but we don’t support that release anymore.
Customer: What do you mean you don’t “support” that release anymore?!
Technician: We can’t support all previous versions of the system. It’s simply not cost efficient; providing continued support for outdated systems would drive up the
price of the product. I’m sure you understand. You’ll need to upgrade to the “Radiant” edition. If you want to give me a credit card number for payment, I can get the upgrade sent out to you within 24 hours.
Customer: Really, that’s okay… other than the bad card, I’m perfectly happy with the deck I have.
(Pause.)
Technician: (Helpfully.) The new release has an attractive dark blue back with a lovely star pattern…
Customer: (Shouting.) Look! I don’t want an upgrade! I don’t need an upgrade! The backs of the cards on the deck I have are just fine. I just have a misprinted card that I want replaced. A simple misprint!
Technician: I’m sorry, I don’t follow you.
Customer: A misprint.
(Crickets chirping.)
Customer: A bug.
Technician: Oh! I understand. In which module?
Customer: Um… in the, uh… Eight of Wands… module?
Technician: Ah! Well, why didn’t you say so in the first place? That’s a known issue. We have a patch for that.
Customer: (Relieved.) Whew! Finally. That’s great! I’ll just give you my address so you can send…
Technician: (Interrupting.) …No need. You can just download it off of our website.
The URL is www-dot-usgames-dot-com-slash-support-slash-
downloads-slash-patches-slash-olderthandirtdecks-slash-riderwaite-
slash-eightwandspatch-dot-html.
Customer: (Angrily.) What? I don’t want to download the card from your website! I want a replacement card, printed correctly, on real cardstock! Is that too much to ask?
Technician: Well, if you prefer to have updates and upgrades sent to you by mail, I can sign you up for our premium service. For only $59.95 per year, you’ll receive…
Customer: (Interrupting.) …Now, wait just a minute. Are you saying you want to charge me $60 a year for you to fix your mistakes? I just want one replacement card. One! That’s it! Why is that a problem?
Technician: It’s company policy, I’m afraid. But I’ll tell you what. I can waive the fee this one time, and send you a hardcopy replacement for the malfunctioning module.
Customer: Fine. Thank you. I’d appreciate that.
Technician: Please hold a moment while I transfer your call to my supervisor, who will approve the request.
Customer: Thanks.
(Muzak plays…)
Supervisor: (Answering phone.) Thank you for calling U.S. Games Systems’ customer service hotline. How may I help you?
Customer: Hi. I was just talking to one of the technicians, who said you could help me to get a replacement card for my Rider-Waite deck?
%
0D
Supervisor: A replacement card? What seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, when I was doing a reading with my new deck today, I noticed that the Eight of Wands card looked blurry.
Supervisor: I see. Are you plugged in?
Customer: (Screams, then whimpers and goes fetal.)

AND the music it inspires, unite!
I actually love the season, my second favourite holiday. Yes, I am a non Christian, however I love love love Christmas music.
The song that makes me cry every time I hear it is actually a Hanukkah song called, Happy Hanukkah my friend from me to you
“Spin the dreidel light the lights,
everyone stay home tonight.
The story is told, the young and the old together.
As twilight greets the setting sun,
light the candles one by one…”
I actually wish I could find that song…

For your Mother, this time and hour,
I call upon ancient power,
to guide her well and send her light.
To keep her from the endless night.
I send my all your way. For all you have done for me, and more.
Sarah

Sarah was very very very bad tonight. Without guidance from a Dom, I have been running amok. Not doing anything unsafe or too bad, but yeah. I am naughty. *Big Grin*
Sarah

In the need for some nude soaking in extremely hot water…I wanna feel boiled.
Let me know…
Sarah

Magic(k) has always been easy for me. From the simple to the ornate ritual. I infuse every magic(k)al act with doses of will, energy, the elements, the Gods etc. Recently, like within the last 6 months I have been working on four spells of varying types and degrees of power. One Open Heart, Open Mind spell, One Truth Will Set You Free spell, One Calling a Lost Love spell, and a Greater Good spell.
Since this is my journal I will try to explain using vague references to people I know as examples, and I will list the spells and tools used etc.
I have a couple friends who are in a poly quatro relationship and one of the quarters was off balance to the relationship and was dragging everyone down. Now this group had children in the mix, and of course being in a non traditional relationship and kinky as well it put the family unit at risk (I attended a conference a while back and got Tips for Kinky Parenting which I have a handout if anyone wants a copy.) Anyhow, this quarter just wasn’t pulling their weight financially, emotionally, etc. So I decided to cast an Open Heart, Open Mind spell on the relations
hip, in which would enable all parties involved to open their minds and their hearts to the situation and see it for what it truly was. This spell is directed at the healthier members of the relationship.
Open Heart, Open Mind
Open heart, open mind.
With these two things combined.
Hearts laid bare, emotions song.
Minds are clear, focus strong,
Face the truths they know are true,
Help them to begin anew.
(Said aloud as I drew a sigil of the initials of the stable part of the quatro. I separated the sigil of the initials of the other partner from the rest of the group to symbolize the need for separation in order to see the truth, to open hearts and minds.)
Will update the others later.

I’m A Survivor
I was born 3 months too early
The doctor gave me 30 days
But I must have had my mama’s will
And God’s amazing grace
I guess I’ll keep on livin
Even if this love’s to die for
Cuz your bags are packed
And I ain’t cryin
Your walkin out and I’m not tryin
To change your mind
Cuz I was born to be
The baby girl without a chance
A victim of circumstance
The one who oughta give up
But she’s just too hard headed
A single mom
Who works 2 jobs
Who loves her kids and never stops
With gentle hands
And the heart of a fighter
I’m a survivor
I don’t believe in self pity
It only brings you down
May be the queen of broken hearts
But I don’t hide behind the crown
When the deck is stacked against me
I just play a different game
My roots are planted in the past
And though my life is changing fast
Who I am is who I wanna be
The baby girl without a chance
A victim of circumstance
The one who oughta give up
B
ut she’s just too hard headed
A single mom
Who works 2 jobs
Who loves her kids and never stops
With gentle hands
And the heart of a fighter
I’m a survivor
Oh a single mom
Who works 2 jobs
Who loves her kids and never stops
With gentle hands
And the heart of a fighter
I’m a survivor
But I must have had my mama’s will
And God’s amazing grace
(I’m a survivor)